Feral
Living in the wilderness has taught me many things, being sensitive to the environment such as feral animals must be, I consider special amongst them.
I once spent over 2 years working in the woods around OR & WA - basically sleeping in my camper-truck, cooking over wood fire, bathing & cleansing all in cold mountain streams, being responsible & resonating with Mother Nature. These are very fond memories, even piling slash in a blizzard was magical.
Then, most recently, having moved into (small) town after isolating way out the road for approximately 7 years, as I raised a girl-child, has it’s charm, & yet the connection to the water & wilderness is not as strong.
The house I just moved from was a luxurious place, with large deck & across the street from an inlet. Every year starting about now, all types of whales start swimming by, returning north after long winters in warmer climes. Because the spot is one of the top-salmon fishing (secret) places in the world, there are often sea lions & otters playing right across the road - all could be heard inside the house oftentimes, to alert to their very close proximity. The deep bass sonorous sighs of huge whales have often literally shaken the earth & rafters, which was always more special at night, within Egyptian darkness. Ancient eagle trees - spruce, large & tall - housed various eagles, & was often given chance to watch the older eagles teaching their babies how to fly - quite a comic sight. Then there was the run of bears for several summers - ‘trash bears’ they are/were - displaced by encroaching new roads & “civilization”, & have learned to enjoy people’s trash cuisines, rather than the typical berries & salmon of their ancestors - really quite naughty. I had left the glass french doors open one hot summer, & a young male cub was just stepping into living room as I returned to the deck, & I had to face him down. I could actually see his feral bear brain churning with indecisions regarding his options, with “attack” being one of them. Eventually by last summer there were less trash bears out the road, & they had seemingly all moved to town.
And I had my bird-friends recurring - two Blue Jays - Rodrigo & Diego, & sometimes a female - raucous when demanding their bird seed, all the very large Ravens, not just my friends but my totems, who taught me so much, but there are still many ravens in town, at least. Several generations of squirrels - very noisy & chattering all year long! Here there is space before one meets the water’s edge - about 2 blocks worth - & sounds of people in their cars & whatnot —- dogs barking - a totally different ambiance…so “civilized”.
But girl-child is grown & all is in it’s natural order, within retrospective projection, just a little getting used to is happening.
I recall returning to very big cities after months living in the mountains, for holidays & between forestry contracts. Spending weeks & months in the wilderness & the 6th sense became quite finely-honed, just as perhaps our ancestors were before all the noisy machines. One is living more related directly to the environment, dependent on wilderness for most needs, & feral because there are always wild animals nearby, who can sense & smell you before they see you. So making big noises as we worked, or say, alone to the outhouse, is the idea of ‘bear bells’. Deer are wonderful, birds are champions, small creatures amusing, but bears are HUGE, have very strange ‘mind set’ (predators) & easily startled. In the town is more a false ‘sense of security’ via proximity to people, but then many people also have the feral ‘predator mind set’, only seem to have lost the 6th sense somewhere at a market, or perhaps in a pub.
After lengthy isolation, I can honestly say that people seem changed, of course they are changed…the economy, stupid? Perhaps completely self-absorbed in their brains, not paying attention to present moment, seemingly lost to the feral sensitivities which was much more predominant even in town, just a decade ago.
And from experience living in the mountains so long, can expect to be absorbed by the Borg sooner or later as well. One gets used to all noises, adaptable to fast changing conditions, forgets about the wilderness, the birds & bears - even around here on this relatively tiny microcosm.
It takes discipline & much personal awareness to maintain relative relations to Ma Nature when she subsides into the background. Yet she remains predominant & presiding over all life on earth - within a very delicate balance. It is very good to remember to pay homage to our connection with our planet Gaia, simply by walking with our feet on the earth, even when the head is in the clouds. To include our feral animal sense within our collective psyches, transforming shadow selves in endless relationship with constantly changing present moments.
